Just Be Held

HAPPY SPRING BREAK!  

Although this is not the spring break that I had planned for my family (the last one with the boys and Abbey), it is well.  It will be well.

I hoped to bring some amazing news today.  Mama is still sleeping.  They are possibly going to give her some blood today to see if she will wake up.  I am heading back down there today or tomorrow.  My back went haywire yesterday for some reason...most likely stress.  I am trying to get all of the clothes washed so that my boys will not have to do it while I am gone.

I am so lost.  I keep thinking that this is a dream and I will wake up.  Yet, I think of everything LIVER in my dreams.  I constantly wake up thinking about what we need to do to get mama to wake up.  My daddy hasn't left her at all.  Jason finally made him walk out of the hospital one morning to get breakfast.  He wasn't gone long.

Two people sent this song to me this week.  It is so appropriate.

"When you are on your knees and answers seem to far away,

You're not alone Stop holding on and JUST BE HELD..."

"Your world's not falling apart

it's falling into place..."

Right now it is hard to see past this brokenness inside of me.  I keep begging God to make her better.  I keep apologizing for anything that I have done to deserve this and blaming myself for everything.  I know in my heart that my God does not hurt his children like this but my head is saying something completely different.  I go from being totally sad and having to concentrate on breathing to being mad at the world! Then, something makes me laugh and the cycle starts over again because I let myself laugh for a moment and then I remember that my mama is laying asleep in a hospital bed 200 miles away.  Sad, Mad, Happy, Sad, Mad, Happy!  UGH!

"Come to me 

Find your rest

in the arms 

of the God

that won't let go..."

Please continue to pray for mama and for daddy.  He is putting on a brave face, but I know his heart is hurting.  Their 50th wedding anniversary is April 16th.

Also pray for the family of Barbara Pruitt -- this is Mitzi Thorne and Kristen Taylor's mama who went HOME on Wednesday.  Additionally, continue to pray for the unspoken prayer request.  Remember, to JUST BE HELD!

Love,
Jenn