The most horrible day of my life!

It is with the saddest and heaviest of hearts that I have to tell you that my precious mama went to be with her Lord and Savior tonight.  I was there holding her hand. What a gift!  There are no words....

Our hearts are absolutely broken and yet because God sent his son to die on that cross and because of that particular FRIDAY, I get to see her sweet face again.

She entered the gates of heaven at 11:31 tonight.  She has seen the most beautiful sights.  Things that we cannot even fathom.  Things that we cannot even begin to imagine.  She lost her daddy when she was 16.  She has seen his face again.  She lost her mama a few years ago and she has seen her again.  Her beloved mother-in-law, my Nannie Broome, I am sure was standing there waiting for her.  And, she has seen Jesus. She has touched his sweet hands.

I am not going to lie.  I would have her come back.  So many have told me that she would not come back but I just think she would want to be with me and see my children grow up.  She loved her grandbabies.  She loved me and Jason.  She loved my daddy.  She loved her sister.  She loved her brother.  She loved her neighbors.  She loved her co-workers.  She loved her friends.  She loved her best friend Patsy.  And, she loved Daisy.  That crazy lab, DAISY!  She loved reading Dorothea Benton Frank novels.  Actually, she loved anything that I read and would eagerly wait until I was finished to read our books.  She taught me to love reading.  She taught me to write.  She was an amazing writer.  She taught me so much, yet I am not ready for her to be gone because I still have so much to learn.  I never learned how to make her homemade banana pudding.  I am not talking about the stuff you whip together with instant pudding.  She cooked hers.  I never learned how to make her dressing.  This past Thanksgiving I asked her if she had any left and if she did would she save me a piece.  Of course, she didn't and when I returned home from Edisto, I had an entire pan to myself.  She made me some homemade bbq a few weeks ago.  I called to tell her that it was better than ANY bbq in a store/restaurant and she told me how to make it but I didn't write it down.

I just want to go to Belk's with her tomorrow.  Saturday was our shopping day.  More times than not, we would come home empty handed and I would say, "Well, that wasn't worth the trip up there was it?"
 and she would reply, "No it wasn't!"  We both knew that we weren't there to spend money.  We were just hanging out because that is what we did.  There have not been too many Saturday's in my lifetime that she and I weren't out "scooter pootin'" around.

She was a wonderful mama.  She always put everyone....and I do mean everyone before herself.

The next few days, weeks, months and what I imagine years, are going to be miserable and lonely.  The ONE person that was always there when I needed just one person to be on my side, will not be on the other end of the phone.  I cannot imagine ever not being sad again.  People keep telling me that I will be happy again one day.  I cannot imagine it at the moment.  I cannot imagine!  I just cannot imagine because she was such a big part of our lives.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers.  My sweet daddy lost his sweetheart tonight. Jason and I lost our mama, my children, nephew and niece lost their Mamie, her siblings lost their sister and I lost my best friend.

Little did we know.

Love, 

Jenn